At the outset, I want to underline the fact that I love my baby. No, I do not regret being a mother. Infact, I thank God everyday for his faith in me to bless me with a baby. This post is not meant to bring forth any hatred for parenting or to discourage any to-be mom. It’s a realistically funny take on the struggles of a new mom.
Being a new mother is unexpectedly overwhelming. You have no idea how its going to be but know its going to be magical (’cause that’s what everyone claims). And then, when you actually have your baby, you realise it is nothing flowery or starry. And the bubble bursts. I had my baby recently. She’ll turn 4 months tomorrow and I’m here to tell you what the first month was like for me. If you’re already a mom, you know what I’m talking about and if you’re not, you can judge me all you want.
Google is what you turn to when you have questions that you’re too embarrassed to ask. Following are top ten things I googled in the first month of my baby’s life.
- How to hold the baby?
Yes! I did it. I actually googled how to hold the baby. I knew before my baby’s birth that babies are small and delicate and podgy and have no neck control but I had no idea that holding a baby is so intimidating.
- How to swaddle my baby?
I did watch some youtube videos on how to swaddle a baby but when I tried doing it, I needed a refresher course.
- When will my breastmilk come?
You think you’ll start milking the moment baby is born which may or may not be true. In my case, it was latter. And it was disheartening.
- How to breastfeed?
Let me tell you, breastfeeding is one of the toughest thing I have had to do in my life. How to feed? How to properly latch the baby? How to know if the baby’s getting enough milk? I googled it all.
- Am I suffering from postpartum depression?
Instead of being an elated mother with glowing skin and endorphins in my body as I expected, I was the one with under eye bags and crying bouts waiting for chloasma to go away. But to answer the question, I wasn’t depressed. I just had baby blues.
- When will I feel attached to my baby?
Call me a bad mother but it wasn’t in any magical moment that I saw my baby and fell head over heels in love with her. in reality, I could properly see her only 24 hrs after she was born. The drugs and sleep deprivation kept me from having any birth related bonding and later as the sleep deprivation continued and she cried more than she was awake, it was difficult to look at her as the heart and soul to my flesh. I can honestly say that I started “loving ” her by the end of 3rd week.
- When can I resume daily activities after a C-section?
Despite the fact that you have an OBG telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, there are so many silly questions that I kept googling. Can I bend down to change my baby’s nappy? When can I walk around the house doing basic chores? Can I strain to poop?
- When will I stop bleeding down below?
Sounds yucky but I’m guilty.
- What to do if baby won’t stop crying?
You have fed the baby, you’ve checked the diaper, you’ve burped her and you’ve done everything you possibly can think of but she won’t stop crying and neighbours are asking if you’re killing her?
- And finally… When does it get easier with a newborn?
You want to know when the unnecessary crying will stop. When will you get to sleep for 3 hours at stretch. When will you be able to get out of the house. When will you be able to understand her cues.
It’s a relief to hear new mums around the world struggling with same problems as you. If you’re a new mother please know that you are not alone and that it will pass. Get all help you can, personal and medical. And that there’s a beautiful light at the end if this tunnel. Babies are so worth all the pain. If you don’t believe me, wait till she smiles for the first time!